Short Jokes

Actor -- A man who tries to be everything but himself.
Adult -- A person who has stopped growing at both ends and started growing in the middle.
Advice -- The one thing which is "More blessed to give than receive."
Average Man -- One who thinks he isn't.
Bank -- An institution where you can borrow money if you can present sufficient evidence to show that you don't need it.
Bigamist -- One who makes the same mistake twice.
Bore -- One who insists upon talking about himself when you want to talk about yourself.
Bridge -- A card game in which a good deal depends on a good deal.
Broadway -- A place where people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't need to impress people they don't like.
Budget -- A method of worrying before you spend instead of afterward.
Childish Game -- One at which someone beats you.
Civilization -- A process of creating more needs than means to supply.
Committee -- A body that keeps minutes and wastes hour.
Conservative -- A man who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
Creditor -- A man who has better money than a debtor.
Criminal -- One who gets caught.
Courtship -- The period during which the girl decides whether or not she can do any better.
Critic -- A wet blanket that soaks everything it touches.
Diamond -- A woman's idea of a stepping stone to success.
Economy -- Denying us a necessity today in order to buy a luxury tomorrow.
Egotist -- A man who tells you those things about himself which you intended to tell him about yourself.